Lonely
by VioletzeEcoFreak
Summary: Ukraine goes beyond the the world of nature to find Canada's otherworldly kidnapper.
1. Gather

On the seventh day of Canada's disappearance Ukraine consults England about things that can spirit away nations. England tells her about those more magical than the nations, those who represent those forces they cannot control or comprehend. He has made pacts with many of them and cannot face them down, cannot make them return Canada to the world of the material. Ukraine cries at these words, for all sadness brings tears to her eyes, but she is not discouraged and swears to England that she will find Canada and bring him to the material world again. And so England gives her a map and tells her that to reach the world beyond nature she will need many things from many nations. As she leaves he kisses her forehead for protection against those he has made pacts with and gives her an egg-shaped stone that had once been a dragon's egg, from the days when England could still speak with the great dragons in his land. And before she can leave he presses a book of spells into her hands and tells her how to use them.

Ukraine goes to France next, tells him of her plan to rescue Canada from the clutches of the spirits beyond nature. France believes none of her tales, but nonetheless listens to her words. When she is finished he laughs at her folly, for believing England's fairy tales, and she cries when he mocks England's advice. France stops laughing then, although he still will not recognise her story as truth. He asks for the map she was given, for she cannot understand it as more than drawings and a vague map of their old borders, when they were all kingdoms and fought like children for scraps of land. But France can read and understand the map, and he writes out explanations for her. She must meet seven countries with seven magic items, and when the moon is new she must wait seven hours in a circle of the items, and then the door to the world beyond nature will be open to her.

France gives her what she needs for her quest: a lock of hair from the Dame Blanche of Pont d'Agnot, which he won from her when he out-danced her three hundred years ago. Ukraine takes the lock and leaves France to follow her map. She is lead to Lithuania, who welcomes her and her quest with an open mind and frightened heart. He will not provoke the spirits that control nature and risk being tormented by them as he once was.

Ukraine stays with Lithuania three days and three nights, for she needs him to help her. She plies him with begging and weakens his resolve with tears that are only halfway sincere. But Lithuania only considers helping Ukraine on the fourth day, when she promises to keep his help a secret from all. If there is a spirit of truth in the world beyond nature, she will lie even to him to keep Lithuania safe. And as the fourth night begins he gives Ukraine a feather from the owl that belonged to Giltinė, the death spirit he had wrestled when he was still only a child. And Lithuania apologises for his fear, but Ukraine only repeats her promise to keep his help a secret.

Ukraine goes to India next, as the map says, but India herself is scornful of England's magic and knowledge. Trusting his words, Ukraine defends him as best as she can. England's map is ancient, made in a day when magic was still in every breath of air and drop of water. India mocks the map and England, but she gives Ukraine only pity and guidance. England knows more than most about the world beyond nature, but only through those he has made pacts with. They hide much of what they know, India explains, but she has been to the world beyond nature seven times, and she knows what dangers lie there that Ukraine cannot anticipate.

There is a gate that she must pass through, but to do so she must sacrifice something dear to her. Beyond the gate stands a guardian, who must be bribed or threatened into letting a near-immortal pass. And then there is the monster that will be constantly poised to attack her, but never will. But if she shows a trace of fear, the monster will steal all emotions in her heart. Passing those three trials will enable her to find the one that stole Canada away, but India cannot advise her on what to do to win him back.

Still, her words are helpful to Ukraine, and when asked India supplies not only a mask made of naga scales but one of her perfumed shawls which will allow Ukraine an hour of invisibility in the world beyond nature. India lets her leave with a warning: those from the world beyond nature will not simply trade away that which they've taken for their own.

Ukraine turns south and back west, and soon she's on the Seychelles. She arrives exhausted and dirty and upset, for all her travelling has strained all of her strengths. Seychelles sees this, and when Ukraine asks for the magic she needs to open the door to the world beyond nature, Seychelles only agrees to do so if Ukraine stays on the islands a while and grows strong again. She agrees and the girls spend their days swimming and soaking in the sun. They drink sweetened coconut milk and sleep nude on the sands of a desolate beach. In time Ukraine grows strong again. The ache in her shoulders and back fades as she floats carelessly in the warm salt waters near the shore and her tightly wound mind loosens into gentle curls she can pick idly through.

She does not realise how long she's stayed, how little time she has until the new moon, until she has been with Seychelles seven days. Then Ukraine realises that she must leave, although she has come to love the island dearly. Seychelles gives Ukraine back her travelling clothes, now clean and smelling fresh and sweet, and also gives her the husk of a _coco de mer_, her deepest, sweetest magic. Now there are only two more treasures to gather, but she has little time in which to receive them.

She rides a boat northeast, and she stops when she has reached Japan. He welcomes her politely and when she explains her plight he nods and accepts what she has to say. But he is hesitant to believe her, she knows without him saying a word. Japan is modern now, the forerunner of technological advancements and he has not seen a single magical creature in his land in years. But Ukraine is determined and she begs him seven times to help her, to give her the object she needs to rescue Canada from the world beyond nature.

Japan does give in to Ukraine's request, and gives her a tooth, which he took from a great oni he had conquered when he was young. From there Japan gives her a boat and she goes to see New Zealand, who welcomes her and smiles at her stories. The island accepts her story and believes all that England and India have said without an argument, for they are the greatest scholars and practitioners of magic. But there is another reason New Zealand accepts the story without question.

Ukraine lifts up New Zealand's shirt and sees a scaly fish belly instead of the warm pink flesh of a human. New Zealand is really Te Ika a Maui, a giant fish once pulled from the depths by a magic fishhook. Ukraine receives one of the fish's belly scales and spends the rest of the day resting alongside New Zealand, waiting for nightfall and the new moon.

When the sun begins to set, Ukraine goes out alone with all seven objects she gained from the seven nations, her satchel carrying things she thinks she will need in the world beyond nature. Carefully, she lays each treasure in a circle. A dragon's egg, a lock of Dame Blanche's hair, a feather from Giltinė's owl, a mask of naga scales, the husk of the _coco de mer_, an oni's tooth, and the scale of an island-fish. She stands silently in the circle and waits as the magic resonates around her.


	2. Travel

A ribbon of light unrolls before her, and Ukraine reaches for it without hesitation. The ribbon wraps itself around her and lifts her up. Ukraine is raised past the stars, which waver and ripple every time she moves. The ribbon releases her on a platform that is not stone or metal or wood. It simply _is_ and there is no way for her to discover what material it is. She assumes that it is because she is at the gate to the world beyond nature. She breathes deep. The gate is unlike any other gate she has known, with no hinges or barriers or guardsman to take the toll she must pay. There is only a single line across the platform, a deep but thin indent in the strange material.

Ukraine takes a book from her satchel, small and thin and scruffy. She lays it down on the ground and crosses the line, and the magic understands. Ukraine loses memories, ones she had written down in the book that she will never be able to regain. Her toll paid, she is welcomed into the world beyond nature, which is full of colour and sensation but no form. She glances around and sees little girls and boys who feel not-quite human dancing in the air. Stars, she realises without any idea how she has gained such knowledge. She wonders if the hole left by her now-missing memories is being filled with knowledge of the world beyond nature. She can only hope that is the case as she follows a dancing pair of stars farther and farther from the gate.

The stars veer away from Ukraine very suddenly, but now there is a path to follow, strewn with leaves and flower petals. She wonders if she is to meet the guardian that wasn't at the gate. She has her answer a moment later, as Mistress Spring rises from the ground, her long hair and cape fluttering together behind her like a set of wings. Mistress Spring says nothing, but Ukraine knows that trying to simply pass her would be folly. She lays down her satchel and, without a word, challenges Mistress Spring to a fight.

Mistress Spring dives at Ukraine, arms raised in threat, but Ukraine catches her hands and they wrestle each other for dominance. Ukraine cannot defeat a force of nature, even if she is a near-immortal. But Mistress Spring cannot defeat Ukraine, for England's protection rests on her. Seven times Mistress Spring attempts to crush Ukraine, and seven times she is repulsed by her pact with England. Ukraine stands firm despite her weakness and Mistress Spring surrenders gracefully.

Having bested Mistress Spring, Ukraine is allowed past and follows the path onwards. She has passed the gates and defeated the guardian, and now she must face the beast that will swallow all emotions in her heart if she looks on it with fear. As she travels, though, she cannot see the beast, and she wonders if it is real. She thinks that India may have been wrong and she must face a different trial instead. Then she feels something behind her, and sees it from the corner of her eye. She cannot see its form, as with most things in the world beyond nature, but she knows it is there and every muscle in her body is as tight as a bowstring, waiting for the creature to pounce. But she does not show fear, and instead she hardens her expression. If she cannot express her vulnerabilities, she will harden her heart to the beast and forbid it from frightening her.

She lies to the beast in the corner of her vision and announces that she does not fear it. And her words hang in the air like a threat to the beast. She feels it, still behind her, and her back tenses. But she grows angry, and her anger crushes her fear. She challenges the beast to attack her, she who is protected by England from many of the terrors of this world beyond nature. And the beast does not move, but Ukraine no longer feels the prickling in her back and she thinks that she can turn and look at the beast.

It is smaller than she had imagined, the size of a home instead of a palace, and it is pathetic in its formlessness. It is humbled by Ukraine's challenge and it is timid, for nothing has challenged it before and the only-near immortal to ever touch it was India. Ukraine is no longer angry at the beast and strokes its side pityingly. She does not apologise, but asks it where Canada is hidden. At this the beast lowers itself and Ukraine clambers on, holding tightly to its fur. It runs with the only near-immortal to ever challenge it clinging to it and takes her through the world without nature.

The beast runs for seven days and seven nights without tiring, and Ukraine lets herself sleep, for in the formless world beyond nature there is no need for food or water or baths. Ukraine awakes from her dreamless sleep (no one in the world beyond nature can dream) and finds that the beast has taken her somewhere cold, and all the colour has died away, with endless blues and whites and a palace made of ice. There is form and she wonders if she is in the land of General Winter.

The beast speaks to her for the first time. She is not in General Winter's home, which he has made at the poles of her world. This is the home of Loneliness, the most pathetic of all the immortal beings. Loneliness takes what she wants and it dies under her care, and since all mortal things die under her, the land she rules is empty for fear that even immortals may fall weak in her home. The beast tells her all this and Ukraine feels fear well up in her heart. But she cannot express it, for her determination won the beast as her mount and it will be her determination that brings Canada home.

She leaves the beast, and it tells her it will return in seven days to take her to home, with or without Canada. Ukraine accepts this, for as a near-immortal she will last seven years in Loneliness' home before she dies.


	3. Payment

She enters the palace made of ice and is able to appreciate form for the first time since arriving in the world beyond nature. The walls of the palace are ice that never melts, but they are lined with tapestries and everywhere Ukraine looks there are treasures of mankind, ancient and perfectly preserved on pedestals. There is no one in the halls of Loneliness' palace and Ukraine remembers, all die in Loneliness' lands. She wanders the halls silently and carefully. She dares not to touch the treasure, for the magic of the world will never allow her to take anything from this world beyond nature except that which she seeks.

Ukraine enters a pair of enormous double doors and finds herself in an ornate ballroom. She is suddenly reminded how humble she is in this world, dressed in sturdy farming clothes with a satchel at her hip holding India's perfumed shawl, England's book of magic, and nothing else.

Dancing in the middle of the ballroom is a woman, and Ukraine recognises immediately that it is Loneliness. Her back is turned to the door, but Ukraine can see that Loneliness is like all immortals, much taller than any human or near-immortal. Loneliness wears clothes and has form, and this surprises Ukraine, for Mistress Spring is only a colour and long hair in her memories. But Loneliness is slight, narrower than most and a waist that Ukraine could hold entirely in her arms, despite her size. She wears an elaborate red dress, the skirt and sleeves long and made with far too much fabric. Her hair is worn up in curls, ribbons falling amongst her curls without any apparent source.

Loneliness turns and Ukraine can see Canada held in her arms, limp and dead-eyed and dressed in red finery that would drive kings mad with jealousy. She sees Ukraine and holds Canada even tighter, as though he were a toy and she a child. Her sleeves make a cocoon of red fabric around him. _You cannot have him!_ Loneliness shouts, backing away from Ukraine. Ukraine walks forward and demands Canada's return regardless.

_You cannot take something for nothing,_ Loneliness reminds her. _You must face trials and pay the toll to take things from the world beyond nature. And I will not accept your offers._

But Ukraine speaks long of her journey. She promises Loneliness that she will pay the tolls and go through the trials to bring Canada home. And Ukraine promises that which is most precious to her as her final payment. Loneliness knows that Ukraine is offering far more than she should, and finally accepts the offer. She sweeps her hand through the air and the protection England granted Ukraine disappears. It is her first of two payments.

_Find a room to call your own,_ Loneliness commands. _There are many to choose from. Tomorrow I will give you your first trial._

Ukraine leaves the ballroom without further command. Now that she is in a place with form, she feels the taxations of her journey settling upon her. She hungers and thirsts and feels filthy and exhausted. She finds a bath first, the water still and steaming in a pool made of marble set in the ice. Ukraine strips silently and settles into the water. The warmth of the water is jarring after the cold of the palace and she wonders how the water stays heated. She finds a bar of soap and scrubs the sweat and dirt from her body. Clean and refreshed, despite the poor state of her clothes, she turns towards getting something to eat.

The corridors have no sense or order to them, Ukraine thinks as she goes. Some rooms are simple and frigid, a room a servant would use, and next to them will be a room full of books or a room with bolt after bolt of expensive fabrics and needles and thread. The lack of sense disorients Ukraine, but she finds a dining hall and sits down at the long table. Everything served is hot, as though it has just come from the stove, even the mugs of mead and coffee and cocoa. She serves herself simply and tucks in. Every bite of food is delicious and warms her deep into her marrow. She wonders why everything in this ice palace is so warm, but no answer is forthcoming.

Full and clean and tired past all measure, Ukraine finds a bedroom just next door to the dining hall. Lying on the bed is a nightgown, pure white and very warm. She changes into it and climbs into bed, sinking into the soft mattress and falling into dreamless sleep instantly.

Ukraine awakes and is completely refreshed. She sees her travelling clothes have been cleaned and laid out at the foot of her bed. She puts them on and ventures into the ice palace to find breakfast. The dining hall next to her room has breakfast served now, piping hot and very fresh. Ukraine only eats tea and buttered toast, but she sits for a while despite being finished and thinks. She already knows what she must do on the seventh day to free Canada, but she still has five trials to undergo, and those are chosen by Loneliness. She has no idea when the trials shall take place, or how she shall defeat them.

But idleness does not suit Ukraine and she stands and goes to find something to do with herself. She finds the room with the bolts of fabric and needles and threads and finds the softest cloth she can find to make a coat for Canada, for when they leave Loneliness' palace he is likely to be cold. She works in silence, cutting and measuring the soft, warm fabric, stitching it together. She stops only for a quick meal in the middle of the day and returns to her sewing.

Ukraine feels it is late in the evening when Canada appears at the door and bids her to come with him. It is the first time she has heard his voice in a long time and it makes her heart ache to hear him so sleepy and monotone. But she follows him obediently and he leads her to the ballroom where Loneliness stands tall, dressed in the deepest royal blues. Canada goes to Loneliness' side, but Ukraine waits at the threshold of the ballroom.

_Come_, Loneliness orders, _and embrace that which you wish to steal from me._

And Ukraine steps forward, slowly, her eyes on Canada. He stares back without expression, face blank and eyes glassy. Then she breaks into a run and throws her arms around Canada with a sob. He does not hold her back but does not fight her, either. Then she feels Canada shift in her arms, and she looks up to see a lion's face. The lion roars and Ukraine can smell carrion and death in its breath, but she does not release him. The lion scratches her face, but Ukraine takes the pain with only a prickle of tears. The lion melts in her arms and once again it is Canada, dressed in the deepest royal blues. Ukraine wonders if this is all to her first trial, but finds it is not. Canada breaks free from her hold and once again, his shape changes into that of a lion. But Ukraine is clever and she opens England's book of magic. She tears out a page from the book and the spell is released. The fur peels away from the lion and Canada is once again free from the shape. Loneliness cries out in frustration and Ukraine is forced out of the ballroom.

She touches the cuts on her face and wonders if there is an ointment or balm that will take away the sting before she tries to bandage them. She enters the bathroom and once again scrubs herself clean, and this time next to the soap is a jar of ointment and bandages. She applies the ointment and bandages, sups alone, and goes to sleep with a smile, for she has faced the first trial and won.

The next morning Ukraine awakes and sees her clothes, mended from the damage the lion's claws had done and freshly cleaned. She wears her clothes and eats breakfast, and in the midst of her meal Canada enters the room alone and sits at the head of the table, where he eats in silence. Ukraine is amazed that he travels alone anywhere in this palace, but then Ukraine thinks that perhaps his memories have been replaced by knowledge of the world beyond nature, just as her memories have been. Then she panics, for what if she frees him from Loneliness and he still does not come home with her? She dismisses herself from breakfast and leafs through England's magic book until she finds the spell for remembering. Then she goes to the sewing room and spends her day stitching the spell into every piece of fabric she intends to use for the coat.

Canada comes for her again late in the evening, and Ukraine follows him to the ballroom. Loneliness waits there, wearing a gown of forest green, and Canada stands at her side, dwarfed by her incredible size, and Ukraine waits in the threshold.

_Come_, Loneliness orders, _and embrace that which you wish to steal from me._

And Ukraine runs up to Canada and embraces him with all the warmth and emotion she can muster. Canada touches her bandaged cheek gently but does not say anything or embrace her back. His form shifts and changes and Ukraine's arms wrap around him much farther than normal. She looks up and sees a fanged snake hissing threateningly at her. She flinches in terror but does not release the snake. It dives at her and bites her shoulder, but there is no poison in its bite and Ukraine screams in pain but does not let go of the snake. It changes back to Canada and he breaks free of her hold, once again becoming the snake. But Ukraine tears out a page of her book of magic and the spell is released. The snakeskin peels away and Canada is left there in his forest green finery.

Loneliness drives Ukraine from the ballroom and she is left outside and holding her shoulder. But this time she doesn't go anywhere, and listens carefully to Loneliness.

_My love,_ Loneliness coos, _forgive me. I could not choose the proper form for you, and now you must be transformed once more._ There is affection in her voice, deep and intense despite the coldness of her voice. Ukraine is crushed. Loneliness seems to genuinely love Canada, and perhaps he even loves her back. If this is the case, she does not want to be the one responsible for separating them, and she will have to retrieve Canada when his seven years are up and his death is near.

She bathes again thinking about this and dresses her wound with some difficulty, and finally she can eat her dinner and go to bed. She eats quickly, hoping for long and deep sleep to recover from her snakebite. Canada enters as she finishes and looks at her and her bloodied clothing. He whispers a barely-audible apology and Ukraine is thrilled. She wishes Canada a good night, but this time he does not respond and Ukraine goes to sleep thinking deeply about his apology.

She breakfasts in what she feels is in the late morning, trying to meet with Canada again. He appears, drowsy and dressed in clothes of burning orange, and sits down at the head of the table to eat. Ukraine asks him if he is lonely here, in such a big palace with only the embodiment of Loneliness for company. No, Canada says. He isn't lonely, because Loneliness coddles him and gives him anything he wishes and covers him in kisses and embraces.

And why is everything here so warm? Ukraine asks, and Canada says that he wants everything warm here. It is painful being cold in an ice palace. Ukraine agrees and they finish their breakfast together, in silence. She goes to the sewing room and finds more layers of warm fabric to stitch and stuff into Canada's coat. She will not allow him to go cold.

The coat is nearly finished when Canada calls upon Ukraine, but she abandons the coat and lets herself be lead back to the ballroom. Canada goes to the side of Loneliness, who is clothed in clothes of the most vibrant oranges. Ukraine stands in the threshold of the ballroom and waits.

_Come_, Loneliness orders, _and embrace that which you wish to steal from me._

Ukraine walks towards Canada, and he takes a few steps, as if half-heartedly trying to meet her in the middle. She embraces him warmly and while he never holds her in return, he eases into her arms. He is familiar with her hold and can trust her to never release him through his transformations. Ukraine is warmed by the thought and she feels that warmth through her whole body. But the warmth intensifies and Canada's form shifts in her arms and when she looks she sees Canada is becoming a red-hot branding iron, searing through her clothes and burning her skin. She holds tight to him for seven seconds, screaming and yowling in pain. Canada changes back and she is crying bitterly from the pain, still holding tight to Canada. He does not remove himself from her hold and sits still as she tries to recover from the shock of the burning pain.

Loneliness tears Canada from Ukraine's hold and sends her away forcefully, holding Canada like a doll and murmuring all kinds of endearments to him. Ukraine goes to the bathing room and finds healing ointments and treatments for her burns, as she assumed there would be, and she tends to the injuries on her bosom and arms as best as she can. She imagines, very briefly, that Canada will come in and rub the ointment across her arms and breasts, but she knows that is foolish and does not indulge the thought for long. She leaves her burned and ruined clothes behind and wears the warm, white robes waiting for her. She eats dinner quickly, leaving before the smell of roasted meats can completely nauseate her. She changes into her nightclothes when she gets back to her room and sleeps despite the incredible pain in her chest and arms.

She awakes late in the morning and finds the sharp pain of her burns has softened to a dull ache. She breakfasts alone and goes to the sewing room. She spends much of her time asleep on the sofa sitting in front of the fire, awaking once or twice to sew for an hour or so before sleeping again. Her sleep helps her to recover quicker from her burns and there is little progress on Canada's coat, no matter how fast she is at sewing.

Canada takes her from the sewing room to the ballroom with a softly spoken apology on his lips. Ukraine accepts it and assures him she does not blame him for her burns. He apologises again, for what is going to happen, but Ukraine is quick to pin all the blame on Loneliness. It is not Canada's fault that she is hurt by his transformations, for he does not choose his form. Canada walks past her without a word and goes to Loneliness' side, the pair glowing in brilliant yellow clothes. Ukraine stands at the threshold and refuses to cross.

_Come_, Loneliness orders, _and embrace that which you wish to steal from me._

Ukraine steps forward, but Canada abruptly steps back, a spark of life and terror in his eyes. She steps forward again and Loneliness holds Canada still. _Harden your tender heart towards she who hopes to steal you from me_, Loneliness commands. Ukraine can no longer resist her questions, and she bursts with the most important question of them all. Why does she want Canada so? she asks.

_If he stays in my lands for seven years he shall be my groom and wed me, and he will become an immortal as all who stay in these lands do._ Loneliness strokes Canada's face and he gives in to her touch and the spark of life dies away. His eyes go glassy and he steps forward. Ukraine approaches Canada with measured steps and embraces him warmly. He is limp in her arms and Ukraine wonders why he doesn't change shape now that she is holding him. She hears Loneliness step around them and Canada dips his mouth down next to her ear. He apologises, and Ukraine hears a loud crack and her back is in sudden agony. She holds firm to Canada though, as the pain comes a second time, and a third. Ukraine is whipped seven times with a seven-tailed whip, holding firm to Canada while she cries out in pain against his shoulder. But she endures and Loneliness goes back to her former position, overlooking Ukraine and her hold on Canada.

Ukraine lets go of Canada when he tears himself free of her hold, and she sees he is shaken and almost human after so long being only a doll. She leaves and finds her bathing pool again, the path automatic after so many times soothing her wounds. The lashes on her back hurt even more than her burns had, and she can feel the shredded remains of her shirt hanging from her wounds. She strips carefully and sinks into the warm water, her back aching all the while.

Footsteps catch her attention, and she knows without looking that it is Canada. She turns to look at him, but he is not bashful at the sight of her nakedness or smiling at her openness. He kneels at the edge of the pool and opens the jar of healing ointment, running his fingers over the parts of her back that are unreachable, particularly in her injured state. The act is not done with warmth or an overflow of affection. He efficiently covers her back in the ointment, and when she rises out of the water he helps wrap her in bandages. She accepts his help with quiet words of thanks, but once she is wrapped properly he retires, leaving her to walk back to the dining hall for supper and then her room all on her own.

Is Canada truly worth this pain? Ukraine asks herself. She has endured some great times of suffering, but she has never had to endure so much malice and pain in such a short time. And perhaps Canada is happy here, adored unconditionally by Loneliness.

But Canada is always cold, and he seeks warmth that he cannot gain from Loneliness. And she brings forth the human in him, brings Canada back to life when he is dead-eyed and mindlessly obedient. She cannot leave Canada where he will be little more than a ghost, constantly seeking warmth with no satisfaction. Ukraine is renewed in her goal to bring Canada home, and she dismisses all her questioning. She sleep deeply and wakes up early and refreshed.

Ukraine finds her ruined clothes stitched up and cleaned, and she pulls them on and the fabric feels brand new. She eats a heavy breakfast alone, and goes straight to the sewing room when she's done. Canada's coat is almost finished, and she wants to complete it before she pays her final toll tomorrow. She still has one more trial to endure, and she wonders what it will be. Loneliness is determined to drive her away with pain, but she can endure great pains. Perhaps it is because she is holding Canada, no matter his shape, when she is hurt.

Ukraine's sewing is soothing, perhaps because the simplistic coat she has been sewing is nearly complete and then entirely complete. It is covered in the spell for remembrance and stuffed with warm fabrics and it is shockingly bulky. She lays it out on the table where she had measured the bolts of fabric she used. Then she folds it, once and twice and so many times that it is the size of a notebook when she is done folding. She tucks it away in her satchel and wonders if form is looser in the ice palace than she thought.

Ukraine looks through the spell book England gave her with her remaining time. She does not know what sort of magic she may use in her final trial, but she believes it is better to be prepared, just in case.

Canada comes for her late in the evening, and he waits patiently as she wastes time putting her book away in her satchel and delaying her departure from the room. She is not sure she is ready for this final trial, if it can be worse than the whipping or the burns. But she follows Canada to the ballroom and he walks past her, standing at the side of Loneliness, bedecked in the richest purples. Ukraine waits still and silent on the threshold.

Loneliness regards her coldly and lifts her chin haughtily. _My love is always cold in this palace of ice, and so you must prove you would make him warmer than I_. She picks up Canada and he is curled in the crook of her elbow. She sweeps her other arm around him and he is swathed in purple fabric. Then Loneliness kisses Canada so that she has him wrapped up in her tenderness. Then she lowers Canada to the ground, and he stands dead-eyed and sleepy.

_Come_, Loneliness orders, _and embrace that which you wish to steal from me._

Ukraine knows what she must do, so she runs into Canada and holds him in a tight embrace. She hugs him tightly with one arm and runs her other hand down his cheek. He is looking at her with his sleepy, blank gaze. She guides his face down and kisses him with all the emotion she can summon. His arms are limp at his side but he is not pulling away from her. She presses her lips to his mouth more firmly, and she feels him kissing her back. It is slow and shy and uncertain, just as the first time he kissed her was. But Ukraine accepts the reaction and pushes her tongue against his lower lip. She feels him blush and knows she has won.

Loneliness rips them apart with a shriek of anger and summons her magic. Ukraine brings out the spell book from her satchel and opens it quickly. Loneliness summons freezing winds with which to kill Ukraine. Ukraine tears a page from the book and the winds stop. Loneliness summons raging fires to kill Ukraine. Ukraine tears a page from the book and the fires are doused.

Ukraine leaves the ballroom, and while she leaves she hears Loneliness cry her apologies to Canada for failing him once again. But Ukraine is overjoyed. To kiss Canada's mouth is something she has missed, and she knows more than ever that stealing Canada away is the right thing to do. She goes cold, though, at the thought of the toll she must pay tomorrow. Ukraine skips her bath and eats dinner, but she enters her room to find Canada standing at the opposite end of her room. He asks her how she makes such warmth, but she cannot say.

He asks her if she will warm him once more before she goes to sleep. He barely has time to finish his question before Ukraine is showing him how to move his head so she can kiss him better. And for a few minutes she kisses him warmly and he attempts to return her kisses without grace or ability. Then he leaves her with thanks, holding more warmth in his cheeks than he has ever had before in his memory. Ukraine sleeps sweetly and deeply.

She awakes on the last day early, but she breakfasts slowly and has nowhere to go when she is finished. Canada is nowhere to be seen when Ukraine wanders the halls, so she finds a room with paper and all varieties of pens. She is tempted to use the quill and inkwell that are laid on the desk so nicely, but she instead finds a modern ballpoint and writes in careful, clean writing. She folds the letter and places it in her satchel carefully, next to the folded coat and England's spell book.

She writes two more letters, one for England and one for her brother and sister, and sets them carefully next to the letter for Canada. It is only then that she realises the magnitude of what she is doing. Her final payment for Canada's freedom is far steeper than it is worth. She is giving up that which she treasures the most. It sinks into her and she starts to cry freely, frightened that all she has thought of will crumble. If her attempts to use trickery against Loneliness fail, then England and India are the only ones she can trust to recover everything. Ukraine cries and allows herself to be frightened, more than she has ever been in her life. But she stood strong against the beast and made it into her mount. She will use that strength and force Loneliness to submit to her demands.

The day is long, though, and twice Ukraine considers bolting and riding the beast back to the gate where she entered. She strains at her self-inflicted imprisonment and wonders how much she is needed in the world against how much Canada is needed. For the first time, their obligations as nations are apparent to her. She ponders the effects of Canada's disappearance and tries to work out what has changed about his land and people since his abduction. The day is long, though, and soon Ukraine's thoughts meander.

Late in the evening Canada finds her, although how she does not know. He looks at her with his glassy eyes and Ukraine wonders if there is some humanity in him to save. She second-guesses herself for a moment, but then she remembers how Canada blushed when she kissed him and she steels herself. She follows him quietly to the ballroom, where Loneliness stands bedecked in the purest white, her curls almost black in comparison to the white ribbons in her hair. There are pearls on her skin and moonstone in every fold of her gown. Canada approaches her but stops at halfway, between Loneliness in her glory and Ukraine at the threshold of the ballroom.

_State your toll_, Loneliness commands. Ukraine steps into the room.

"I will sacrifice my freedom and life to you, Loneliness, as long as Canada is in the world beyond nature," she says. And Ukraine values nothing more than her freedom, gained after so much struggle and strife. She has been conquered and forced into submission, coddled by her brother, and aided by the Western world even in her independence. She wants nothing more in her life than freedom from the need for help, and now she is giving it up for the sake of Canada.

She steps towards Canada and opens her satchel. She unfolds the coat and places it on him while he stands still. She manipulates his arms into the sleeves and ties it closed (no time to sew buttons). She stuffs the shawl from India in her pocket next, and then puts the satchel over Canada's shoulder. She takes his hand and places it against the letter for him and then she looks him in the eyes. She kisses his mouth and words fail her. She kisses his hands and hers go numb. She kisses his eyes and she falls deep into sleep.


	4. Sleep

_Loneliness holds her like a doll, feeds her soup and their feasting lasts days. Loneliness dances with her for months and lets her go through the halls for weeks. She is tired, six months awake with no rest, and she sleeps six months more. A year passes in Loneliness' castle and she feels the cold settle into her bones. She lies in warm water and drinks warm mead, all to no effect. She dances with Loneliness and lies in her bed and another year has passed._

_She lives in Loneliness' home for seven years and she is only near-immortal. She expects death and lies in bed regretful she will die cold and alone, save the immortal giant she sleeps beside._


	5. Escape

Ukraine awakes and knows she has done the impossible. She has performed trickery against magic far beyond her comprehension. Canada is free from the world beyond nature and Ukraine will be, too. She finds she is wearing a gown of black, threads with onyx stones in her hair and an ebony fan in her hands. She removes the gown and the stones from her hair and leaves the fan on the bed. Loneliness is nowhere to be seen, but her clothes are lying on a chair across the room. She pulls them on and feels slight relief from the cold. The perfumed shawl from India is still in her pocket, and she pulls it on. And then Ukraine runs, ignoring her hunger and thirst, and she flees the palace made of ice. The further she runs from things with form the better she will be able to hide from Loneliness.

She is in the formless again when the shawl's magic fades, but she wears it anyways. Her hunger disappears and her thirst evaporates and she is able to run endlessly into the formless world. She does not think of where she is running, only of reaching the world of form and New Zealand's beaches and Canada, home and safe. She runs for so long time melts in her mind, and she only stops when the beast she once tamed finds her. She climbs onto its back and it runs for her, taking her back to the gate where the world of form and the world beyond nature are linked. The beast runs only four days, and Ukraine sleeps through them all, resting so she will not be in agony when she is back in a place with form.

She crosses the gate and looks back to see her beast running, going to stand guard where it had before. She jumps off of the platform not made of stone or wood or metal and is caught in a net of starlight and lowered gracefully into the world of form. She lands on her feet in the circle of seven items she gathered and breathes deeply. Then she feels arms wrap around her and Canada holds her and thanks her so deeply she thinks he may never let her go.


End file.
